Flirting is a Dangerous Game
by JustPaeshy
Summary: Tired of the constant embarrassment in public, Remus decides to get revenge on Sirius.
1. Plan A

_Rated T for Suggestive Themes_

* * *

He hated this, he really did. Well, he kind of liked it, especially when he got to see that smug smirk on his face, the raised eyebrow as grey eyes watch as his cheeks turn red. But even if he liked those things, it still didn't make up for the embarrassment he has went through these past few days.

And for the fourth time this week, Remus was staring at the back of the one and only Sirius Black. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't do it in public, he reasoned, but he does and it irritates him every time he feels the stares of the curious students. And Sirius has no shame, he doesn't care who sees as he openly flirts with his boyfriend.

But Remus cared, and that was all that mattered. So after being left with a flushed face for the fourth time, he has had enough. It was time for his revenge. Merlin help him, he was going to make Sirius blush.

Childish, he knows, but you would be doing the same if you were constantly embarrassed in public by your significant other. But how do you make Sirius blush? As said before, he has no shame.

He could be stark naked in front of the whole school and posing proudly whereas a normal person would be embarrassed. He didn't know how he was going to exact his revenge, but he will find a way. He will find a way.

At dinner, Remus plopped himself down beside Sirius, trying his best to seem normal. Sirius glanced over his way and shot him a smile before turning back to James to resume their conversation. Remus began placing food on his plate, running through the plan in his head. And once Sirius began to eat, the plan was set into action.

He had waiting for the perfect opening, and once Sirius lifted his arm to grab his goblet, it was time to strike. Carefully placing his hand on his knee, Remus continued the conversation with Peter, mindlessly chatting about astronomy.

He could see from the corner of his eye, Sirius was looking his way. As a moment passed, Sirius relaxed and went back to chattering about the upcoming quiddich game.

Remus used his free hand to pick up his goblet, hiding his smile behind it. Once he felt that Sirius was starting to get too comfortable, he enacted phase two. He slid his hand up just a bit further, giving Sirius's thigh a soft squeeze. This time, he met Sirius's gaze, quirking an eyebrow in his direction.

Sirius had finally gotten the hint, a little too quick for Remus's liking. He ignored James's inquiries and leaned in to whisper into Remus's ear, "Gonna give a dog a bone?"

Remus felt something crawling on his leg and looked down, seeing Sirius's hand moving closer to his crotch. With a loud thud of his knees hitting the bottom of the table, Remus leaped from the bench and bolted out of the great hall with his face red for the second time that day.

Plan A had failed.


	2. Plan B

_Reviews:_

 _Sam: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!_

 _StarryCallahan: All of the eyebrow wiggles! Here's the next update dearies!_

* * *

This was it. Plan B. This was sure to work, if not, then Remus was willing to kiss Snape. At that thought, Remus gave a shudder, suddenly wishing to take that back. Looking over at Sirius at the couch, he was beginning to become unsure, what if it didn't work?

The young boy blew a black lock out of his eyes, letting out a soft sigh. Remus took in a deep breath and marched over, trying to fake confidence. Sirius looked up as he appeared, "Oh hello Remus.." He said with a somber look on his face. Remus's façade faded a bit as he saw it, "Um..Sirius. Are you ok?"

Sirius buried his face in his hands, "Not really." He flicked his hand out, a emerald green parchment held between his index and middle finger, "Read it." Remus took it, sitting carefully beside him. As his eyes scanned over the contents, rage began to fill his insides.

 _'Sirius,_

 _By now, you must have gotten a notice already, but as of now, you are no longer the heir of the Black family. Do not try to beg us to take you back, it will not work. Perhaps you should have thought of that before you became friends with that bloodtraitor. I have reached the end of my patience and I will not have you tarnishing the Black name! So as of now, Regulus is the heir. Do not bother to respond. As of now, you are no longer our son. And you have no family, have fun being on your own._

 _Walburga Black '_

Remus looked up from the letter, seeing Sirius's red eyes from crying, "Oh Sirius.." He dropped the letter on the table and pulled him close, "I am so sorry. I am just so sorry." He felt his heart break as Sirius began sobbing into his shoulder, clinging to him with a vice like grip. Remus leaned back on the couch, holding the pained teen in his arms. Sirius let out a whimper and pulled a bit back, seeing the tear stains on Remus's shirt as well as some black smears from his eyeliner, "Oh..I ruined your shirt."

Remus looked at the stains and chuckled, "I didn't like it anyway." That was a lie, this was his favorite shirt, but Sirius was more important than some stupid cloth. He reached out and wiped the tears from Sirius's cheeks, trying not to laugh as he noticed the eyeliner had smudged all over Sirius's eyes, making him resemble a raccoon. Sirius sniffled and nuzzled his face into Remus's hands, "I don't give a shit about her. Or them. Or anything about being an heir. I just wish they'd for once..care. Why don't they care about me Remus? What did I do that was so wrong?"

Remus shushed him, bringing him back to his chest, "Nothing. You did nothing wrong Sirius. They are bad people. They don't deserve such a perfect son." Sirius gave a scoff, but Remus ignored him, "They can't appreciate what they have, but I will. Sirius, you don't need them in your life. Better to be no heir and happy than miserable."

Sirius smiled against his neck, "Quite the philosopher, Remus." Remus laughed, "But it's true, isn't it?" He felt Sirius nod, "Yes Remus. You're right. I don't want to be with that stupid inbreeding family anyhow." Remus patted his head, "Good boy."

At that moment he decided to do the plan, "Want a story to cheer you up?" Sirius sat up excited, "Yes! Tell me! Tell me!" If he had a tail, it would be wagging right then. Clearing his throat, he began, "So, a man went to the doctor for a personal problem." Sirius grinned, "What was the personal problem?" Remus chuckled, "Let me finish it." He then continued, "Well, the doctor soon came in and asked him what the problem was. So the man bent over-"

"He bent over?! What for?" Sirius interrupted him curious, however, after seeing Remus's stare, he shut up. "So the man bent over and said, 'I have a strawberry stuck in my ass! Doctor, what can you do?', and the doctor looked him dead in the eye and said, "I've got some cream for that."

Sirius gave a snort, shaking his head, "Wow Remus..just..wow." Remus pouted, was his joke not good? Should he be flustered and covering his face? Even Remus's cheeks were turning pink after telling that joke.

Sirius however, noticed the pink tint and said rather boldly, "Would you like some strawberries Remus?" Letting out a whine, Remus laid back on the couch defeated as Sirius got a house elf to bring them some strawberries. Plan B has failed.


	3. Plan C

_Reviews:_

 _StarryCallahan: Enjoy, my dear. I finally made the chapter!_

 _ThePinkyNinja: Yeah, I think Sirius is down for anything with Remus. And that was the question for this chapter, but I figured it out._

 _Lilly Flower forever: Oh thank you! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!_

 _TechNomaNcer28: I don't think Remus will either._

* * *

"Lily! I need help!" Remus shouted, sitting himself beside the redhead. Lily looked him over worried, "A-Are you ok?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." He replied, taking in a deep breath before he continued, "I need..your help..with seducing Sirius." Lily snorted in shock, "W-What?" Remus stared at her seriously, "I. Need. To. Seduce. Sirius." Lily let out a soft chuckle, "I heard you..but why? You're already dating him, I'd say you've seduced him."

Remus looked around them, making sure no one was listening, "I know, but..I.." He scooted closer to her and spoke quietly, "Look, he's always making me get all..flustered." Lily smirked, amused at his choice of words, "Flustered? You mean aroused?" Remus began to stammer, his face turning red, "N-No! It's just..um…yes, okay? Yes. I need to do the same. I need to make him embarrassingly flustered." "Aroused." Lily added in, giving him a knowing smile. He let out an irritated sigh, narrowing his eyes at her, "Yes. Aroused."

Lily smirked, proud of herself, "Very well, I will help you." Remus grinned and threw his arms around her, "Thank you so much, Lils!" She smiled and patted his back, "Anything for a friend. Now.." She stood up, slipping out of the hug, "Let's go shopping!" Remus furrowed his brow, confused, "Shopping?" Lily took his hand, winking at him, "Trust me. By the end of the day, he'll be so flustered, they'll call him Sirius Red!" Remus snorted at the lame pun, but stood up anyway, "Alright, let's do it!"

* * *

"Has anyone seen Remus?" Sirius asked as he sat down on the Gryffindor Couch beside James who was watching Peter playing Exploding Snap against a First Year. James shook his head, "Nah mate, sorry. Last I saw of him was this morning, heading over to the library." He let out a whine and looked around the common room, "I haven't seen him all day. I want my Moony."

Peter tapped a pair of cards with his wand, looking up at them for a split second, "I saw Evans with him, think they were headed to Hogsmeade." James perked up at the mention of the red haired beauty, "Evans? With Remus? What for?" Peter shrugged and watched the First Year take their turn, "Shopping? Maybe he was showing her the shrieking shack." Sirius snorted, "Don't be ridiculous Wormtail, he wouldn't reveal his furry problem to her." Seeing the First Year look up, he quickly added in, "He's scared of rats." Peter let out an offended gasp, but Sirius ignored him. The First Year seemed to take that as an answer, turning back to the game.

James sighed and pushed up his spectacles, "I dunno. But if they wanna hang out, they should be able to." Sirius turned back to him and whined, "Yes, but Jaaames! I want my Moony!"

"And your Moony you can have."

Hearing the voice behind him, he leaped up from the couch, "Remus!" Turning around, he froze, taking in the boy in front of him. Remus stood before him, a smile on his face, as usual. But, as his eyes drifted down, he noticed something different. The clothes Remus was wearing before was way different than before. The baggy sweater had been exchanged for a tight fitting white t-shirt, showing Sirius the curve of his hips.

A well fitted leather jacket hanged around his shoulders, making Sirius's heart skip a beat, if there was one thing Sirius loved, it was leather. And it seems Remus knew that. His eyes fell further down, hoping the tour didn't stop there. And he was not disappointed, clinging to the very long legs of Remus Lupin was black denim. Sirius felt saliva build up in his mouth as he stared, his heart running a mile in his chest. His boyfriend was hot. Of course he always knew that, but seeing him in these clothes, it really showed.

Remus ran a hand through his hair, smiling nervously as Sirius stared, "U-Um..do I look okay?" Sirius stayed silent, coming towards him slowly. He looked at Lily confused, but all she did was give him a thumbs up and walk over to James. Turning back to his boyfriend, he saw he was right in front of him, "Sirius?"

Sirius looked up at him, showing Remus his dilated eyes, there was barely any gray left in them. Feeling something grab the front of his jacket, he was yanked down. Feeling the soft lips mush against his, he let his instincts take over. Grabbing Sirius's waist, he began kissing back, ignoring the hooting and cheers coming from their friends.

Breaking the kiss, Sirius looked up at him panting, "Upstairs now, Pinky." Remus opened his eyes confused, why was he getting called- Oh. Coming down to reality, he felt the heat in the tips of his cheeks. Looking over at Sirius, he noticed that his face had no colour whatsoever, still perfectly pale.

Sirius smirked at the shocked look on his boyfriend's face, taking his hand in his, leading him to the boy's dormitory, "C'mon Moony." Remus followed in silence, his brain racking for answers, how was it that Sirius never got flushed? Seems Plan C didn't work, or did it? He didn't know anymore.

"Mooooony!"

Hearing his boyfriend's whine and feeling the hands pulling at him, he decided to let it go, for now.


	4. Final Chapter

Letting out a sigh, Remus laid back on his bed, his mind filled with questions. Feeling Sirius move beside him, he looked over, seeing the black haired boy getting out of bed, "Where are you going?" Sirius smiled at him, running a hand through his curls, "To wash off my makeup, don't wanna wake up with stains on the pillow." Remus nodded absentmindedly, watching him head to the bathroom.

Thinking about what Sirius said, his brows furrowed, would eyeliner leave a stain? Doesn't Sirius have to just wipe it off? Remembering something, he sat up, whispering to himself, "Makeup? As in more than one?" Getting up, he threw on one of Sirius's quidditch shirts, padding over to the bathroom. Opening the door, he saw Sirius wiping something off his face, "What are you doing?"

Sirius chuckled and kept his eyes on himself in the mirror, "Wiping off my makeup, like I said before." Remus frowned, looking at the stuff on the wipe, "Why is it orange?" Sirius took out another wipe, "That's my foundation." Tilting his head confused, he watched Sirius wipe off the stuff, seeing some beauty marks appear as he did so, "How long have you been wearing it?"

Sirius smiled and began to wipe his eyes, "For a while love, you never noticed? You don't just wake up with a flawless complexion like this." Remus laid his head against the doorway, "I never really pay attention to complexions and stuff like that." Sirius threw the wipes in the trash, finished, "I know Moony."

Turning to him, he caught sight of his shirt, "Is that my tee?" Remus looked down at it and nodded, "Yeah..it's cold without you." Hearing his words, Sirius felt the warmth in his cheeks, smirking at him, "Well..we'll just have to do something about that, won't we?" Remus's eyes widened as he saw the pink tint, "How..I…wha.."

Sirius looked at himself in the mirror, seeing the pink, "Oh. You've got me flushed. Good job Moon." With that, he walked past him, heading to their bed. Remus stood there in shock, trying to make sense of what just happened. Sirius had never turned red before, not until now. What has changed?

As if a bell had gone off, he looked towards the bottle of foundation on the sink, his eyes narrowing, "You." The evil little bottle of ivory goop seemed to glower in his misery, mocking him. Letting out a huff, he turned out the light, heading to the bed. After a few moments, the light in the bathroom turned back on, and Remus popped his head back in. Reaching over, he knocked the bottle into the trash with a smug grin. Turning back off the light, he headed to Sirius, slipping into the bed beside him, "Night Pad."

Sirius smiled and wrapped his arms around him, "Night Moony." Letting out a soft sigh, he closed his eyes, relaxing with Sirius in his arms. The silence of the castle luring him to sleep, feeling Sirius begin to fall limp in his arms.

"Remus?"

"Hm?"

"I hope when you went shopping, you got me a new thing of foundation."

Remus's eyes shot open, looking down to see Sirius's eyes narrowed at him, "Uh…"


End file.
